Knock Knock

I have been doing research and finding all kinds of information , poems and been receiving some truely amazing emails and stories, but I have not found the best way to put them together yet, but this video I found needed to be posted rite away! It bought tears to my eyes!

Striking Stats!!!

These are some stats I came across while doing research for my blog....

*63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census)

“I am writing this letter because soon I will hear what I have not wanted to hear. I wrote you a letter about my son who is charged with capital murder of his father. Well, I found out two days ago that his case is going to the circuit court. He is charged with both robbery and capital murder. Before I see my son get the death sentence I will take my own life. I can no longer go through this any more. I keep trying but can’t hold on any longer. I am hurting inside deeply… I am all alone, since nobody has ever cared for me. I no longer want to live in this world full of hate and hurt. It is me that has to watch my son and I would rather shoot myself. Like I told my counselor today, I don't want to live anymore.”

*90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes

*85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (Source: Center for Disease Control)

*80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes (Source: Criminal Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26, 1978.)

*71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (Source: National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools.)

*75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes (Source: Rainbows for all God`s Children.)

*70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept 1988)

*85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home (Source: Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections 1992)

*37.9% of fathers have no access/visitation rights. (Source: p.6, col.II, para. 6, lines 4 & 5, Census Bureau P-60, #173, Sept 1991.)

The sad part is there is a larger portion that have access, but it is almost in their minds they do not, because they make no attempt to see their child at all!

*"Overall, approximately 50% of mothers "see no value in the father`s continued contact with his children...." (Source: Surviving the Breakup, Joan Kelly & Judith Wallerstein, p. 125)

This statstic along with the others is terrible to me, I mean from the tat above prove that fathers love and attention have a large impact on a child, no matter what the mother thinks. I do ubderstand if the father can cause harm to the child in any shape or form, but if the mother is doing it out of spite they are causing more harm than good.

*"Very few of the children were satisfied with the amount of contact with their fathers, after divorce." (Source: Visitation and the Noncustodial Father, Koch & Lowery, Journal of Divorce and Remarriage, Vol. 8, No. 2, p. 50, Winter 1984.)

The world, or alot of people are going around asthough this issue does not matter or insignificant, and I agree it may not be as prominant as world hunger, but it is a problem none the less!

Child of the KING!!!

Yesterday morning I went to church with my mom like I do pretty much every Sunday to give thanks for the many blessings the Lord has poured upon me. Well our church(Christ Fellowship) is celebrating tweny-five years of impacting lives, well at the close of service there were multiple people who came up on stage one by one the approached with a cardboard sign that stated their issue or fault, then they comensed to turn it over and have how the Lord has solved there issue on the back. People came up professing all sorts of things....

* "homeless and lost--> sheltered and saved"

* "Dictator Mom--> Doting Mom"

* "Unloved--> loved"

And the list goes on, each touching in their own way. Everybody knows how extremely emotional I am, so I was trying my hardest not to breakdown into tears, and to my surprise I was holding my composure very well! Then a woman came up holding one that said "fatherless," and I began to loose it, and on the back it said "child of the KING! " By that time I was done for! I read fatherless and it is almost asthough I put myself in her shoes, and suddenly it felt like I was the only person in church. Then when she flipped the board it is almost like I felt peace come over me, and the first person that came to mind was a beautiful lady I know Jessenia Arias(@iamadopted), who is not only a mentor to me but a friend; but I will talk more about her in another post. Along time ago she told me the space I have in my heart that I keep waiting for my father to fill will only be filled by the Lord our Father. Although I knew what she meant when she said it to me, it was like the woman holding that sign was saying it all over again and I felt the void filling as she then began to walk off the stage. I was so moved, I know the feeling I have are not going to completely vanish but I AM A CHILD OF THE KING!!!!

Unstable Cradle

"Unstable Cradle" is a blog dedicated to single parent households, particularly households with absentee fathers. I grew up in a single parent home, where it was just my mother and I, and I knew who my father was; but when my mother left him, he left me at the same time! In this day and age fatherless home are an epidemic, so much so nobody even seems to acknowledge it anymore. I recetly ran a search on twitter looking up absent father/dead beat dads and the majority of the results I recieved had to do with the single parents point of view, but what about the child; but I will get into that later. I personally went to therapy because of the issues I had with my father after he walked out on my life. However yet a lot of children do not talk about it, or they constantly say they do not care or it does not bother them, but the fact of the matter is that it does. I always use to say I did not care about my dad and the way he treated me, but people I said it to noticed that when I said it my entire tone of vioce changed, to anger and disgust! For years I have told myself to write a letter to my father and explain to him how I truely feel, and I never did it, I must have written this letter more than ten times, each time never making it to the end, becuase I just got to emotional or I thought what I was saying was just too harsh. What really needs to be said is that...

No matter what I am going to love you, I just hope and pray one day you are actually going to love me back the way I do!"

Blood of Lyrics

I have been told I've got some thick a** blood flowing through my veins

Thick like the head of the ignorant b**** I had to teach after she told me...

"locks are disgusting niggers get them after not washing their hair for a long time."

See that lesson played over and over in mind

I mean as foolish as she sounded I'm suprised she even knew to call them locks

That day like some others my blood got so thick it began to form clotts

I became so angry my stomach turned into a million knots

Getting so upset, I went to a place inside I had never been before

A place with blood cold like ice, kind of like the emotions i feel towards life

I have been told the blood in my veins runs deep

Deep like the hatred I feel for my father after he called me a WHORE!!!!

Taking me back to that place, only this time it wass all to familar to me

With needles sticking trying to break that ice, i knew i been there before, I had walked this floor

I have been told that the blood in my veins pumps strong

Strong like the strength it took to go perform every night

Pulling green from places my veins should never have to see nor feel

Strength to live another day forgetting about yesterday

Attempting to forget those blood stained walls

Some other people tell me that running through my veins is some thin blood

Thin like the water in the tears I cry

The tears that ran over the bruises and then into the cuts

Cuts I recieved because I was told I was a slut

Moving on no longer cuts but progressing into sores

Some say the blood in my vein is shallow

Shallow like the wanna be pre-madonnas

I was forced to associate with in order to prove my intellegence

Them triffling heffers who were the true sluts, but pretended to come accross eligant

Others tell me the blood in my veins pumps very weak

Weak and slow like my heartbeat after multiple close but UNSUCCESSFUL suicide attempts

Now I try to overdose, flowing lyrics throw my veins

This struggle for the feeling of exstacy is driving me insane

Keeps bringing back to these familar places

Blood from my sores over flowing in the room

Attempting to donate to save a life.

But turned away, I can't give life when mine is already taken

Nobody wants whats tainted

You heard my story, would you?????

I know you don't, and if you think you take this lyrical blood then you must be mistaken